Category: Let's talk
<h1>How important is image to you?</h1>
To me, I wish there wasn't such a big thing put on immage. I mean, I know that the reality is that people are going to see you and automatically form an opinion based on what they see, but I really don't get why it's such a big thing, for insteance (and the biggist thing for me) wearing a certain style or pieces of clothing to look a certain way and wearing makeup. To me, a shirt and pants and dresses are just that, and as long as they fit and are not stained it's fine with me. But with a sighted person, if you wear say a certain shirt and pants, it can make you look fat or just doesn't look cool on you, and you have to wear makeup to cover any inperfections/even out your complection, and the type of makeup can give a message as well. My sister (who is sighted) points these things out to me and comments on clothes I'm wearing and has me change if possible when they don't look right, and she also will usually put makeup on me. Sometimes I get annoyed at the fact that it does matter how you look to others and wish everyone could be blind so appearance might not be such a big thing. But because of my sister's comments, I feel self-conscious on what I wear and my appearance and sometimes wonder if that's why I don't have many sighted friends or am not being talked to or invited to hang out with them. I know that's the case with my brothers; both are very much into appearance and tell me that that's why they don't take me out often. So, I guess even though I wish there wasn't such emphasis placed on physical appearance (aside from good hygene which I can totally understand), I feel like you do have to care how you look (whether or not you really do care) because that seems to be one of the big things on how you're going to get anywhere, especially in your social life. Just my opinion. *smile*
Just to add, my sister's and brother's comments are not rude or insulting, but of course, they still affect how I think of myself at times.
i agree with post number 2.
image means nothing to me, at all!
I am huge on image. I mean seriously, just because I'm blind does not mean I am not gonna try to look good. I want blind people as well as sighted people to be able to notice me, talk to me, that sort of thing. Maybe I'm just one who has conformed to social standards, who knows. Maybe it's the fact that first and foremost, I'm a performer, and so in a way, I kind of have to look decent enough to go on a stage and not get tomatoes thrown at me. But nonetheless, I always like pampering myself, making myself look good, and in some ways I dont' mind advice that people give to me concerning my appearance either, because there is always room for self improvement.
Image is important to me too. I'm not sure if it's because I used to have good enough vision to notice what others looked like, what styles of clothes they wore, how they wore their hair, etc. I don't wear makeup often anymore because I'm afraid of applying it unevenly or doing something wrong that will draw attention for the wrong reasons. But I do like to dress neatly and femininely and be told I look nice. I also care about image at work. I also care about how I present myself in writing such as on forums such as this and in e-mails.
Finally, a mobility instructor once told me that if a blind person is rude to someone who tries to help them, that person might never try to help another blind person. So I also think about image in that respect. There have been a few times when I have needed help and lots and lots of people just keep walking by no matter I am trying to get their attention. I have wondered in those situations if it was because they were really in that big of a hurry or if they once tried to help a blind person who was ungrateful and rude. So even if someone goes about helping me in all the wrong ways, I try to correct them politely. Maybe some people will say that is stupid and we can't be held responsible for how other blind people act, but I do care about the image that blind people in general present to the world.
Hmmmm. I seem to be rambling. Not good for my image, so I'll stop now. LOL
actually becky I agree with these statements 100%. I don't know how many times I've seen a blind person turn down help in the most tacky way possible and because of it, now alot of sighted people just don't bother. It seems to me in a way that blind people take the word independence too seriously sometimes. It's not bad to be sociable, and if you need help for whatever reason, it's not necessarily a bad thing either. Just my thoughts on the matter.
I like this topic, and it's something I find extremely interesting, especially with totally blind people. The majority opinion (from what I've encountered) is that image doesn't matter a bit, and for all they care the sighted population could just cease existing if they're going to worry about it so much.
But I agree with Jess. I'm very big on image, and I go to a lot of trouble to make myself look good. I don't see anything wrong with it, as long as it doesn't become excessive--refusing to go out if you've got one zit no one will notice anyway, spending insanely ridiculous amounts of money on clothes just because of the brand name, spending an hour on your hair every day, that sort of thing. I guess my desire to look good comes mainly from my family, because they are very image-oriented, sometimes to the point where it annoys even me. My sister is constantly telling me that a specific shirt doesn't look right with the hairstyle I have for that day, and weird stuff like that. On the whole, though, I appreciate their attention to detail and their honesty when it comes to my appearance, because again, I agree with Jess that I don't mind comments and criticism on how I look. There's always room for improvement.
And as for the image you project of yourself to others, I place a lot of importance on that as well. I always hold my head up and keep my eyes open, I walk quickly (provided I'm comfortable with my surroundings), and I don't rock or fidget or put my fingers in my eyes or anything. I want those around me to view me as a confident, competent person, and while I'm not at all ashamed of my blindness or anything like that, I don't exactly want to scream about it to the world. I don't take it to extremes by refusing all sighted assistance and never using a cane, but most blind people I talk to seem to be surprised by how often I go out without a cane or a dog or whatever. If I'm going somewhere I've never before been, and if I'm going on my own, then of course I'll take a cane, but there are plenty of times when I don't feel it necessary.
Sorry, getting off topic and rambling. I do place a lot of importance on image, and I think that to a certain extent, all blind people should. It always irritates me when I hear blind people saying that image doesn't matter to them at all, because they're usually (notice the use of the word USUALLY) the ones who give us all a bad name. And everyone puts at least a little importance on image, or they would never brush their hair or teeth or change their clothes.
I used to be sighted as well and I was all upon image and styles. But my problem now is styles change so much. I mean a certain pair of jeans will be hot for a couple months and then it's something else. Now that I can't see what other people are wearing, or how they are wearing their hair I don't much care about that. I do keep myself clean and decent looking though. I'm just curious how would a totally blind person keep up on what's in style? My sisters are both older and I hardly ever talk to them, and well you never ask your mom for that kind of advice. lol. So Just curious.
It's a fact of life that sighted people judge by what they see. Whether we as blind people like that fact or not doesn't matter. I think the blind people who say that image doesn't matter are just too lazy to do anything about their image. And incidentally, I've met sighted people who don't seem to care about image either. If they did, they would not have horrible bad breath, body odor, etc.
Holly-bear, I have to admit that while I care about image and looking good, I care less about what is "in style" now than I did when I could see. And some of the popular styles when described to me by friends sound hidious to me. So I wear colors that I know look good on me and styles that flatter me or that I like, but I don't ask friends to go through the latest fashion magazines to tell me what's "hot" and I don't ask them to describe what people around me are wearing unless I hear a particular comment about someone and then I might ask.
Personally, I don't care what's in style and what's not. I do place a lot of importance on image, but not in that respect. I wear clothes that are comfortable, and both my mom and sister will be quick to tell me if something isn't flattering to my figure or whatever (not that I usually have to worry about that). It's usually just jeans and t-shirts, sweaters, et cetera, and sometimes skirts and slacks and such, but I don't really worry about whether it's in keeping with the current trends as long as I look nice. I suppose you could always ask for assistance from the people at the stores where you shop, or take along a sighted friend.
That's exactly what i do, and i always feel the fabric of the shirt and all that stuff, I mean I'm not like the big fashion nut or nothin' like that, but, I do try to look trendy if I can, and since I have a teenage sister, it's a little easier for me.
I have honestly never let trends govern the way I dress, talk, eat, walk, etc, etc. That doesn't mean that I choose to dress or behave in a way which would make me stand out. You can call just as much attention to yourself by dressing differently you know.
I usually don't purchase a new pair of pants or a new shirt unless the ones I already have are torn or stained. But my clothes are always clean. lol I dress casually; loose fitting jeans and short-sleeve dress shirts. Nothing flashy. lol
But in my opinion, a person's character says a lot more than how he/she is dressed. I've known very poor people who wear the same pair of pants for two weeks, I've known wealthier people who change clothes several times a day, and I can honestly say that men and women of strong character, of strong morls and values, may be found in both groups. Of course the opposite of this is also true. That's probably why I fell in love with the things mentioned in the bible about showing favoritism. If I had never read those parables, then I'd most likely be a poor wise man's worst nightmare. lol Or maybe just a fool. Ha! These types of excellent messages just aren't taught anymore to today's youth. Instead, advertisements, media, trends, etc, etc, tell them how to think and act. So sad!
And this is just how society functions. I remember seeing a sign hung on the window of one of the Mexican restaurants where I used to eat. I forget exactly what it said but it was something like: "No shirt, no shoes, no food." And the sign had the picture of a man without a shirt and shoes, and a red circle with a line going through the picture. lol
In school I remember seeing young blind women carrying about a hundred key chains with those messages about food, love, looks, or just funny sayings written on them. I don't know what they're called though. I have never understood why they carried those damn things if they can't even read them anyway! But I did see young sighted women carrying them. Maybe they were just copying them or something.
But yeah, I think it's easier for a sighted person to judge based on appearance alone. Is it wrong? Not always. That's all I got to say about this for now. Thank you!
Good topic, Bob. Thanks for starting it. I think that "immage" isn't just visual as many have said here. If it were, manhy of us would probably be helped across the street by people who had been drinking for hours, and not know it. The thing to remember is that immage leaves an "impression" of the person. This impression can be obtained by all the senses. Having said that, whether we like or not, we live in a "visual" world, and one's appearance matters. i will never be a fashion plate, because as may have said it's hard to keep up. Secondly, as many have also said, some of the things peole wear sound repulsive to me. One can project a positive immage by being neat and clean, however. If one is fortunate enough to have family or friends who they can talk about appearance with honestly, that can help guide one's decisions. Also, by making a appearance to lok neat and clean presents an "immage" of a competent person whois blind.
Lou
I think before I can respond to this, I need to pick your brains. Now, is image all about looks and hair and just the visual, or what are the other aspects of it, such as personality and such. Also, is image all about putting some kind of false face or false personality because you fear the real you will drive people away? And last, do people project a particular image as a very conscious act or is it something we do without thinking of it much. See, I'm totally blind, and I'm one who believes that although it's good to make a good impression on folks, I'm not one who follows trends at all, long as all my clothes fit, are comfortable to me, and are not stained or anything. You don't make a good impression with unkempt hair or stinky armpits. Also, it seems that if you're female, image is more important than if you are male, which I think is unfortunate, because it makes females grow up believing the only thing they are all about is looks and things like intelligence or personality are not worth it. Ah, how we've advanced, yes? Hahahahahahaha!
Immage isn't just visual, although it constitues a large part of the word's defminition in my opinion. Yes, some people work to project an image. If you don't think so, I think in the U.S., we have an election coming up for presidentor something. Just observe the candidates and try to figure out what constitutes "immage", and also, note how each tries to out-schmoose the others.
Lou
Image does go beyond appearance. And I think we all have moments when we are caught off guard when our image control faulters. But for the most part, I think most people are aware of the image they are projecting and try to project a certain image by their words and actions as well as appearance.
Wow, when you post a topic you never know whether it is going to take off or not, and board topics take a life of their own.
When I posted this I expected the major part of the conversation to center around the actions of the sorority on the DePau campus, with secondary attention given to the image idea. Shows you how much I know.
When I initially talked about image I was talking about appearance specifically. As others have pointed out, image is more than how you dress, and what you wear. I can't define it, and others have given better examples than I could anyway.
I think the image we project has to do with the face we wear to the world; our public personé, so to speak. Our ID, to put it in Freudian terms, or, the us as we'd like to appear to the world. Our self concept, so to speak.
Anyway, great job folks. Some really good food for thought here.
Bob
As a flippant aside, I have this interesting picture in my mind when people talk about image and especially projecting images. I imagine people walking around with TV screens strapped onto their fronts which have the ability to project a picture. So here are folks with their 3D TV sets projecting their images and everybody is beautiful or handsome with every hair in place and perfect white-toothed smiles and either flashy trendy clothes or slick expensive business suits or whatever. But the TV pictures are seen as TV pictures because sometimes the edges will distort or little lines of static come through and there's the somewhat less ideal person hiding behind their TV-projected image. Again, just a silly flippant aside.
Yes image to me is important. I am blind and already below the sited worlds radar, so keeping clean, neat, and speaking nicely to all I meet is the way I feel I should be. I agree with Becky if a person helps me and even guides me wrong trying to help I'm polite so that when that person goes away they'll hopefully say "ah, what a nice blind person." For men style isn't as important as it is for women, so some clean clothes, tidy hair and clean smell is a good start. Make sure your clothes fit properly. You can handle that by asking the store clerk that question if you don't have any other way of finding this out. As for sited siblings not wanting to hang out with us, well that's "image." I don't agree with that as far as it goes, but it's the way it sometimes is.
I'd say quite as I'm a Goth/Mosher
Bob, that incident you mentioned about the sorority, I just heard about it on the news yesterday. Apparently all but the most beautiful girls were being kicked out of the sorority or something like that, so the sorority was kicked off campus. Good for the university. That is just disgusting that they tried to make it so only the most beautiful girls could join. And whose idea of beauty did they go by, I wonder.
Relating to blindness, I'd want the person who happens to be blind image instead of the ID cane and glasses rocking back and forth stereotype we so often get. Being a blink means being infested with visual images left, right, and center! I don't judge a person by their looks unless they're solely using their looks to broadcast themselves to other people. At times I like being against images and popculture. I.E. there are so many Coke drinkers out there that I like drinking Pepsi products, heehee. I often present an unattractive image right away because the first thing shallow people of society notice about me is the fact that my face is paralyzed and though I've had surgery to reconstruct it, it's not up to their standards of perfection. They don't take the time to listen to the words coming out of my half smiling mouth and get to know the person beyond the image.
great board posts so far!
I agree with most of them in that image matters and tells a person to some extent what a person thinks of themselves.
So a message or two up the thread somebody mentioned shallow people. How much do you feel we should validate shallow people in the name of image and can you change the mind of a shallow person? I personally think they're not worth bothering with because shallow people can seem rather self-important and believe their ways are right merely because hey might be the majority. I'm also one who doesn't always think the majority is righ or good just by virtue of numbers. The more you validate a stupid shallow idea, the more you're saying it's OK to believe stuff that's shallow and stupid, I say.
Image is important to me, but it depends on the situation. As a performer, I have to look good. I wear makeup, do my nails, wear perfume, (etc), because it makes me feel femenine. But, I don't go to extremes either. For example, I haven't done my nails in quite sometime. If I'm dating someone, I love to dress up for them whether they're sighted or not. Don't get the wrong idea. I'm not vain. I need all the help I can get. lol. Today, I'm wearing shorts and an old t-shirt.
I've found out though, and the thing is, if blind people have a good appearance, they're going to be more accessible to the sighted world's opportunities, therefore, gaining a foot hold on what they want.
I agree with loanstaar and dancingAfterDark. I tend to obsess about my looks sometimes...I'm all about nice clothes, hair, makeup, jewlery and shoes looking good. But, image isn't everything, but it does matter.
Your face isn't image love that's a disability. If you are clean, dress nicely, and smell good, then your face not moving will not make any diffferents to people seeing you from a distence.
Goth is who I am it's an intrinsic part of my being and personality.
When I discovered Goth I found the real me.
although image isn't everything, it definitely matters. as some have said, if a blind person has a nice appearance, we're more likely to have some of the same opportunities as sighted people.
Outer appearances shouldn't count for as much as it does, but the fact is it does. I make an attempt to look good and dress nicely at work and if I'm out and about because I know it makes a difference in how I am perceived. It is somewhat frustrating for me, because I've never had enough sight to know what looks good and what doesn't, so I really have no fashion sense of my own. That, I think, is the hardest thing for me. But I do the best I can, and that's all I can do.
I do what I can I don't really care about image but I due worry about how people think about me I don't worry to much but still it's hard.
Yes, you are right. Our image of how others see us is all tied up with our self concepts, and I think blind people, as a rule, have generally low concepts of themselves.
Just my thoughts. Maybe there's another board topic in there somewhere.
Bob
Image is important to me, but I don't go so far as to have someone, (and it's usually mom), put makeup on me. All I do is make sure my clothes match, (thanks to Brailled color tags), brush the hair back and make sure it doesn't look like a tornado went through it, and spritz the perfume, and I'm ready to go. (all after the shower of course If I have to dress up, I'll do it, like if I were going to a formal dance or something like that. Otherwise ...
Now that I've thought about it more, I think immage is important to a point. I still feel the same way about it, and wouldn't dress in anything I didn't like just to look good, and I'm still not much into makeup, but I do think that it does matter how you dress (I mean like as far as dressing appropriately for things.) And of course as others have mentioned it also has to do with how people communicate with/treat each other.
Wow, I forgot I once posted this. Thanks for bringing it back up Leilani.
Have to give it more thought.
Bob
I try to be aware of image, but it's importance often depends on the situation. for instance, I'm more aware of the image I portray with strangers and in new locations than I am with friends and family. I guess I wan't those who don't know me to perceive me in a particular way, whereas those already close to me know the real me already.
Perception is a funny thing though. I really became aware of this not long after I lost my sight. I met a young lady who had recently gone blind too, and we started dating. She said that she always tried to make sure she wore nice clothes that looked proper. she said people used to think she was just a sloppy college kid who didn't take time to match her socks, and now they thought of her as that poor blind girl who couldn't match her socks. Made me aware of not only the image I portrayed, but how others would perceive it as well.
What I find interesting about the initial story is that, on the one hand, teenagers (or people in general) are claimed to be ever more obsessed with image, on the other, obesity is going up at an alarming rate. If people were truly so obsessed with their looks wouldn't they want to put in the work it requires to keep in shape, or are they using make up, clothes etc increasi9ngly to hide the fact they are not in very good physical condition. To me, being in decent shape is a very important part of image (of course this sounds hypocritical coming out of the Christmas season but, hey, I am about to go lose those extra 5 or 6 pounds, I really am *grin*) but I find it intereesting how people seem to obsess over clothing whilst not obsessing on the very important thing for their image that also benefits their health and improves their quality of life (one surely doesn't think so whilst trudging to the gym but generally thinks so afterwards).
Regarding imge, I think everyone has touched on my points. Visual image is the first thing sighted people notice and the basis for them approaching you, so you need to portray approachability and confidence and try to at least not stand out. I think over dressing is not appropriate either, dress according to the situation, be more careful of your image on professional occasions and with strangers. Being clean, neat and dressed up moderately has done wonders for me in terms of acceptability (then again most of my friends are from my old swim team so being half naked seems to do the trick too). I try to get advice on clothing from sighted people, as much as I'd like to, I can't really have a sensible taste in clothing, color matching etc, I can have opinions on materials but those may not correspond well with sighted opinions, and since I dress more for other people than for me (what's better than running around in boxers and a t shirt) that's what really matters.
cheers
-B
Like the last poster, I do get advice on image/clothes/hair and makeup from sighted people. Most people live in visually-oriented societies. One factor I didn't really read here is how different styles of clothing can make or break a person's image. I think people both blind and sighted should keep in mind that not all clothing/accessory trends flatter every figure. Knowing what clothes look good on you and what doesn't can make a huge difference. So can the right colors. I've been lucky to have friends or my sister help me with choosing what looks great. If i'm not sure how something looks, and I can't ask another person, I just won't wear the outfit. Just as important as clothes is the way in which people carry themselves. I have met other blind people, nobody from this site, who don't carry themselves in a confident manner. People are going to treat a person based upon a message, verbal or otherwise that another person picks up on. I've never thought my blindness was any reason to not look good. Like another poster here, I've been treated better based upon the way I present myself. Neat clothes, nice hair/makeup really do make a good impression along with the way a person carries themselves in public.
To me, image is not important at all. I mean, if I want to be slim, I want to be slim for my health, and not that everyone looks at me. In fact I'm glad I'm not that "good-looking" in society's eyes. Why? Because then I have real friends only and not just friends who like me for my image or looks or whatsoever. The personatlity is way more important than image and status.